After receiving a breast cancer diagnosis on Oct. 9, 2025, I am now less than 48 hours away from a double mastectomy. It’s a diagnosis that punches me in the stomach every single morning that I wake up and remember that I have it. The closer I get to this massive surgery, the more I feel like I’m being run over by a truck when I start my day.
I’m in a lot of groups for breast cancer patients, and all of the messages seem to be about positivity–it’s just a bump in the road, pick your chin up and keep on fighting, and rock that pink girl! Rock it! Own it! Instead,I just want to crawl under a rock and cry.
I have been incredibly prayerful during this journey, and I find a lot of laughter and light in the good days, but overall, to use a non-clinical term, it just sucks. It’s scary and it’s lonely and it sucks.
Battling false hope
For about five years, I’ve had to alternate between MRI’s and mammograms due to dense breast tissue and other family history factors. In October, when I went for my mammogram, the technician came out afterwards and said that the radiologist determined that I would not need a follow-up ultrasound. In fact, she stated, “I’ve got wonderful news for you, Maureen. You have been a diagnostic patient for five years and now we are graduating you back to being a screening patient, so you only have to come for one yearly mammogram, and you no longer have to get MRI’s!”
I have to admit, I thought this was strange.My breast tissue is as dense as ever, but she was so genuinely happy for me that I went home and told my husband the great news.
The next morning, which was a Friday, I received a rather frantic voicemail from the same mammogram technician telling me to call her immediately. She said that they had made a mistake. I returned the call and they got me back in on Monday.
They performed a 3-D ultrasound and then had me come into the back room where they had the images of my breasts up on these big screens. There was an oncologist and a radiologist standing there with me. They brought in a very nice nurse navigator as well. They explained to me the spots that they were seeing on the mammogram and described them as highly suspicious for ductal carcinoma, and then they strongly suggested I get it biopsied immediately, so that is what I did.
Accepting my diagnosis
Interestingly, I got the results of the biopsy a few days later in my chart. I was sitting in bed next to my husband and exclaimed, “Oh my gosh, I have cancer.” He looked at the results and said, “Well, isn’t that an early one? This is good news isn’t it? Like, it could be worse?” I told him that no cancer diagnosis was good news, and of course he agreed.
It’s a very upsetting diagnosis to get through My Chart. We waited a day or two to see if anybody would call me, but they never did. As I’m writing this, it is now Jan. 21, and nobody from that organization has ever called me to tell me that I have cancer. After receiving my diagnosis, I quickly switched my care to the University of Chicago back,and the ball got rolling very fast. Before I could process anything, I had an oncologist, a cancer breast surgeon, a plastic surgeon and a nurse navigator.
I have suffered for years from long Covid and severe complications due to it, so I also have two pulmonologists, an endocrinologist, a rheumatologist and an allergist at that same hospital.
After my Surgeon at University of Chicago ordered an MRI, they determined that the original 5 mm Ductal Carcinoma In Situ is actually 6 to 9 cm in size, so it was determined that I would need a double mastectomy instead of a partial mastectomy. I will know more about radiation and chemotherapy and if it’s needed after we get the results of the pathology.
I don’t know if I’ve ever been more scared about something in my life than the surgery I’m facing. I will detail what my experience with the surgery was like after I start my healing journey.
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